Blame
by AnonymousBrit
Summary: Set during season 7, before Bombshells. How do House and Cuddy cope when House is being House and ends up causing himself a world of pain? And what are the implications when a 'friend' does something unimaginable?
1. Chapter 1

'You're an ass!' Cuddy said, walking into House's office with a face like thunder. Foreman, Chase and Taub looked up from their piles of charts, test results and textbooks and tried to inconspicuously watch the drama which was unfolding next door without drawing attention to themselves. 'I specifically told you not to cut open that boy's skull and what did you do? The polar opposite! Since when is that an ok thing to do? Do you have any clue of the lawsuit this could have opened us up to?' She shouted, slamming her palm down on his desk.

'So this is what this is about, money?' House retorted, standing up to meet her eye line. 'I did what I thought was right for my patient!'

'You don't get to decide what's right for your patient! His parents do! But no, not only do you disobey me; you decide to bypass the fundamental asking for consent part of the treatment and have now left us exposed to God knows what! You could lose your licence!'

'I was trying to save him! Do you think I did this for some sort of fun?'

'But you didn't! You didn't even discover anything new by slicing through his skull and taking a portion of his brain, you just subjected him to unnecessary and painful surgery. And you know what? I think this partly was fun for you. You got to go against me like you used to, relive the good old days where you could upset me and ignore me and get away with it. If you loved me, hell I don't even know if you do, the effort it takes you to occasionally put the three words together, you wouldn't have put me through this.'

'So let me get this straight, this is about you now?'

'That's not what I'm saying.'

'Really? Because it sure as hell sounds like it!'

'Woah woah!' Wilson interjected, walking through the door. 'Do you two have any idea what you sound like?'

'Stay outta this,' House said, not breaking eye contact with Cuddy as the two stayed locked in a stare to the death.

'Unfortunately for you that isn't an option anymore, as you can be heard at the nurse's station down the hall and therefore, this has now been made my business as well as half the hospital's.' He sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere with this tactic. 'Look, why don't you both go home? It's late and you're not going to get anywhere with this case when you're in this frame of mind. Your team are exhausted as are both of you, come back in tomorrow with some fresh perspective and you'll have more success.'

Cuddy seemed to agree with this and turned on her heels, breaking the stare. House  
watched her go, but leaped to attention and followed her as swiftly as he could when she saw she wasn't heading in the direction of the lift but instead the direction of the patient's room.

'House! Don't!' Wilson tried to advise but his words fell on deaf ears. All he could do was follow, and motioned for the fellows to do the same.

As House rounded the corner he saw Cuddy talking to his patient's parents, apologising profusely on his behalf. How dare she have the audacity? As she saw him coming she tried to hurriedly finish her sentence, but not quickly enough.

'Dr Cuddy, may I have a word?' He said in a commanding voice opposed to asking her. Mr and Mrs Shoreditch turned to look at him. She had tears in her eyes, he had thunder. Cuddy's face fell. Wilson and the team hung back, not wanting to get too involved but not daring to leave.

'You son of a bitch,' Mr Shoreditch mumbled under his breath, immediately before landing a right hook on House's temple. He fell like a ton of bricks, his eyes swimming as he tried to get his bearings back. He was looking at Mr Shoreditch's steel toe-capped boots while his ears tried to pick up what was going on around him, the wife was letting out a sob while Cuddy gasped at the shock. Despite their current ongoing argument, he was the man she planned on spending her life with. Someone was calling for security to come, as House realised Mr Shoreditch was still talking to him. 'You like to cause pain, do you? What kind of doctor does that? Well let me tell you, I can cause pain too, all kinds of pain,' and with that, House felt pain above anything he'd felt for about 12 years, since the infarction. Mr Shoreditch continued to kick and kick at his leg, aiming for the exact spot he guessed correctly that he could do the most damage. Cuddy was screaming now for help, begging him to stop, before finally the onslaught stopped as Chase and Foreman dragged him away and pinned him against a nearby wall. Within seconds the security team arrived and detained him, as House slipped in and out of consciousness.

Cuddy knelt down next to his head and took his hand. 'House, House I need you to look at me, open your eyes.' He could hear her, but the pain had taken hold and the small movement of opening his eyelids seemed too much. 'House! Open your eyes!' She said more forcefully, and this time he obliged. They flickered open, and struggled to focus on her face. Everything was a blur. She squeezed his hand tighter as he saw her muster what may have been a weak smile of reassurance, or what just as easily may have been a wince as she could foresee the damage which had been done. She stroked his forehead and he was aware of two strong pairs of hands lifting him up and onto a bed. He groaned. He felt like he was going to be sick. Before he could stop it he felt the bile rise in his throat and he retched, as Wilson and Foreman struggled to turn him on his side to stop him aspirating his gastric contents. Cuddy cleared his airway with her finger and wiped his mouth clean as he was wheeled into the nearest free room and hooked up to various IVs.

'I'm going to need 10mg of morphine and some lorazepam,' Chase instructed, as Cuddy stayed right by House's bedside and clutched his hand in hers, before a moment of realisation hit her.

'No! Not morphine, it's an opiate,' she instructed, fear in her eyes.

'Cuddy, he's in so much pain right now that it's the only thing that's even going to touch it, I strongly suggest we go for this and deal with the consequences afterwards,' Chase said forcefully, aware that while she was his boss now he needed to be the objective one.

'No! He won't want it, I know you've all seen him detox before and you know how hard it is, you know the pain he goes through to get clean and he won't want it again, just please, give him Ketamine or something,' Her voice was breaking under the strain, and Chase was close to cracking and giving in. He looked at Foreman, and he looked at Wilson, unsure how to proceed in the unique situation.

House let out a quiet groan as he slipped back into consciousness, beads of sweat forming on his clammy forehead. Cuddy snapped her head around to look at him, and although his eyes remained shut Cuddy could see their rapid movements beneath their lids as he struggled to focus on anything other than the immense pain, and now all she could do was let him know she was there. She squeezed his hand tighter, she stroked his forehead to try and soothe him.

'Sssh,' she cooed, 'It's ok, I'm here, I'm here,'

'I didn't mean to upset you,' he whimpered quietly, the first words he'd spoken since the assault. He barely opened his eyes, and spoke just loudly enough for Cuddy to hear him.

'What?' she asked, for as far as she was concerned their earlier argument was long forgotten.

'I didn't do the biopsy to upset you,' he clarified in an even smaller voice than before.

'I know you didn't and I shouldn't have said that you did, I was angry and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It doesn't matter now, ok? It doesn't matter,' she kissed his forehead and tried to stop her eyes from welling up, she had to remain strong for him and chances were he wouldn't come out of this easily.

'I love you,' he whispered, before screwing his eyes up tightly and trying to stop himself from screaming.

'Please, please give him the Ketamine,' she said more weekly now, tears forming in the bottom of her eyelids. Forman stepped forward, and looked at Wilson.

'Says here you're the one listed as his medical proxy. You have to make this call.'

Wilson had been stood quietly in the corner since bringing House into the room, his mind in turmoil. Why did he feel like this? Surely the obvious choice in this situation would be the Ketamine, it would reduce the pain and stop him having to painfully detox afterwards, stop his _best friend_ from having to painfully detox afterwards, but part of him wanted House to feel pain. More pain. It was an unfortunate coincidence that today, 2nd February, was what would have been Amber's 35th birthday. While Wilson had always told House, Cuddy, everyone including himself that he didn't blame him, he couldn't help but think that if it weren't for him, she may still be alive. They may have had a child, she may have become the fourth and final Mrs Wilson, but now they would never know. And that was down to him.

House let out another sound, this one a strangled cry for help. Cuddy looked desperately back at him and brought his hand to her lips in another futile attempt for comfort. She then looked back at Wilson with a longing in her eyes.

'Wilson, we need a decision, his heart rate is rising,' Chase urged, somewhat disturbed by the vacant stare he gave across the room.

'Push the morphine,' he said, and turned and walked out of the room.

House finally felt the pain ebb away and his weary lids fell shut.

H

Hours passed as Cuddy sat by his bedside, his hand in hers. She couldn't help but think how peaceful he looked whilst he was lying there, like it was the calm before the storm that was sure to hit once the sedation wore off. He'd been given strong anti-inflammatory medication as well as the pain killers to try to reduce the swelling which had quickly come up in his thigh and was more than likely compressing nerves in doing so, causing the extreme pain. But that would pass within a couple of weeks, and while he would still be in pain, it would be manageable. The opiate withdrawal, however, would be a much longer and tougher road.

She cursed Wilson. Wilson had been the one who found House passed out in his own vomit after overdosing, Wilson was the one who drove him to Mayfield, and Wilson was the one who dealt with him once he came out. He knew full well what he was doing when he gave the order for morphine and he did it anyway.

Maybe it was because he knew that finally, he wouldn't be the one who would have to clean up the mess afterwards now that she and House were together. He felt that he was no longer his responsibility.

The door to House's ICU room slid open, and Chase entered the room. She couldn't help but think that this was his fault too. 'You aren't welcome,' she told him and averted her eyes back to House.

'I'm the treating doctor, I need to be here to check on him,' Chase explained, and went over to House's IV bag and fiddled with the label, then stood and stared at the monitor for a while.

'It's clear you aren't actually needed here, which means you came for absolution. You want me to forgive you for making the blatantly wrong decision.' Cuddy deduced.

'It wasn't my decision to make, it was Wilson's, and I'm truly sorry you disagree with the treatment plan but I had to go with what his medical proxy tells me to,'

'But you knew he wouldn't want it! And I should have been his proxy anyway, he just hadn't gotten around to changing the forms yet and obviously you don't plan for something like this,' her eyes filled with tears, why couldn't he have understood this?

'I know Cuddy, I know and I'm so sorry. If Wilson hadn't been here then I wouldn't have questioned what you said but the fact is that he was in the room, I couldn't ignore that. He made his decision very clear, although he did look slightly odd throughout the whole thing. The shock I suppose.' This made Cuddy think.

'What do you mean odd?'

'Just sorta blank, like he was thinking about something other than what was going on here.' Cuddy was at a loss, he hadn't mentioned anything out of the ordinary all day and she could think of no reason for the abrupt character change. Like she thought, maybe he just snapped. 'I think you should go and talk to him,' Chase suggested.

'No,' she immediately replied, 'I'm not leaving him. He might wake up and when he does I need to explain to him not only why he's in so much pain, but also why he's feeling high. And then on top of that, I'll need to tell him that it was his best friend who has put him in this position. If Wilson has something to say, he can come here and say it.'

Chase bowed his head. There was no denying that the conversation Cuddy will need to have with House when he wakes would be one of the hardest either of them have to have, especially after everything he went through to get clean. He left the room and went to the hallway to get a blanket, then passed it to Cuddy. She smiled weakly at him, and then without saying a word, he left. There was no more he could do here.

H

Wilson sat at the desk in his office with a picture of Amber and him in his hands. They were in the park and it was autumn, her favourite time of year. She had held the camera out in front of them and taken the picture herself. It usually stayed locked away in his office desk draw unless he felt he really needed to look at it, for example if he'd just lost a long term patient or received some other form of bad news. Today he needed it because he may have just made one of the worst decisions of his life, a decision which will have so many implications not only for the people he cared most about in this world, but also for himself, and he couldn't help but feel a small amount of self pity. He shouldn't have been the one making that decision in the first place, and House should have updated his records as soon as he and Cuddy got serious, which was pretty quickly. He spent more time in the hospital as a patient than the average person anyway and knew full well that a decision may need to be made, and it should no longer have been him making it. So maybe House got what he deserved for not being proactive. Then blame shifted to Chase, as he should have had the initiative to give the Ketamine no matter what he had said. It was clearly what Cuddy, basically his next of kin, wanted and certainly what house would have wanted too, but no; classic Chase was too scared to put a foot out of line and followed protocol to the letter. And what about Foreman? Foreman wasn't particularly hot on protocol and he too knew what House wanted, why didn't he just administer the Ketamine himself?

But ultimately, Wilson knew. Wilson knew the wrath he would face when House came around, and he knew the consequences of his actions.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi all, thanks for the reviews. I seem to have received more by e-mail than what's shown on here but I still don't really understand how to work the site so there we go! Understand some people were a bit concerned about how Wilson could do such a thing, however just thought it was a bit different to the things that are normally written about, and despite most of them being great, I thought a bit of a change might go down well. Anyway, see how it develops and hope you like it!**

H

Light crept between the blinds in House's ICU room, stirring Cuddy from her fitful sleep. Glancing at House she saw that he looked exactly the same as he had when she'd last looked at him, last taken him in. The harsh reality was that when the detoxing began he would be a mere shadow of his former self, as he becomes gaunt from the continuous vomiting and his skin becomes dull, before his features start to look too big for his face and his piercing blue eyes become bloodshot. But she would be there. She knew from the moment that she broke off her engagement to Lucas that he would never have to endure anything on his own again; that she would never leave him no matter how bad it got.

Cuddy turned around on the sound of the door to the ICU room opening, momentarily expecting to see Wilson before last night came rushing back. It was unlikely she would be seeing Wilson for a while now. In the doorway stood Chase clutching a croissant, and Cuddy couldn't help but feel this was a small peace-offering for last night. In her heart she knew that the way Chase had acted was correct, and she herself would usually strictly abide by the rule of 'treat them like any other patient' when treating someone who you are close to, but when that person was a person she loved so dearly it was hard to think in the same way.

Chase tentatively stepped forward and offered her the food on a plate along with a selection of condiments from the canteen downstairs, which she gratefully accepted. She hadn't eaten since lunchtime yesterday and she was going to need all the energy she could get.

'When do you think he'll come around?' She asked him to try and put him at ease a little.

He sighed. 'Probably around midday, most people would probably sleep for longer but due to his... tolerance he'll probably stir earlier.' She nodded, it did make sense. She looked back to House as if expecting a response from him, goodness knows what, but anything would have been good right now.

'I really am sorry, Cuddy,' he whispered. She turned to look at him again, and stared straight into his eyes to let him know that she was genuine.

'I know,' she said, 'I just couldn't see it at the time. You had to do what his medical proxy said, I understand that.' It was hard for her to admit that in practice what had happened was completely correct, and that the only person in the wrong here was Wilson, one of her closest friends.

Chase nodded in acceptance; however he still appeared uneasy and looked as though he hadn't slept a wink. 'Do you need me to do anything? Is Rachel ok, do you need someone to watch her or anything?' He offered, his moral compass still not set back straight.

'No, but thank you. She is staying with my sister for the week anyway so she'll be ok for a few more days.' She smiled sadly at Chase and had a resigned look about her. She looked like a woman who was already enduring an ongoing battle, and in a sense she was. By joining forces with House, she was a constant part of his battle with opiates. That wasn't changing anytime soon.

H

The first thing he was aware of in his conscious was the continuous beeping of the monitor at his bedside. As he rose from the depths, he felt Cuddy's hand clasping his, and then after that he felt the searing pain in his right thigh. He flinched uncomfortably, which Cuddy picked up on.

'House? House, can you hear me?' He groaned slightly as he became more and more aware, but something was amiss. 'House? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.' He obliged, and finally opened his eyes to be met by Cuddy's hovering above his head. Then he felt his eyelids being peeled back further and his retinas burnt as she shined her torch in them to check their reactivity. That was enough to jolt him fully back into consciousness, but he felt odd. He felt nostalgic, and he sensed a hazy fog in his mind, an undeniable sensation.

'Cuddy?'

'I'm here House, I'm here.' She stroked her thumb across the top of his hand and he squeezed it back as a form of reassurance, but there was a sadness in her eyes. It was all starting to come together.

'Cuddy-' he began, before she cut him off. She knew he knew.

'House, please just hear me out. There was nothing we could do, you were in so much pain you were incoherent and it fell to your proxy to make the decision about your treatment, and I tried to stop them but in the end they had to follow protocol and they gave it to you, and I hate to say it but part of me was glad because your pain had stopped but then I thought about what you'll go through and I promise I'll stay with you, I promise I won't leave, I-' she was rambling and the tears started to form in her eyes, something not unnoticed by House. He hated it when she cried.

'Woah, it's ok, it's ok,' he tried to reassure her, although he was sure in a normal couple in this situation she would be the one to reassure him.

'It isn't ok,' she sobbed, and then the tears fell.

'It is, I don't blame you.'

'Maybe you should? I mean, I'm the one who confronted Shoreditch and then I couldn't stop them with the morphine, I screwed up House.'

'No, no you didn't. If I hadn't been an ass in the first place the incident would never have happened, and I'm sure you couldn't change the medication because you were probably too busy trying to soothe me and calm me down, this is down to my proxy, who is... Wilson.' It hit him. Up until then he hadn't made the connection between what had happened and Wilson being responsible. The light went from his eyes. Cuddy panicked. She clambered onto the bed with him on his left hand side so as to cause minimal damage, and held his hand with her head on his shoulder.

'I'm so sorry,' she whispered, and all House could do was pull her tight and never let her go, as now she was all he had left in the world.

H

Wilson awoke with his head on his desk, the picture still firmly between his thumbs. He hadn't left the hospital, he felt that while he was still in the building he hadn't truly abandoned them, he hadn't truly committed a horrendous act, however he knew that there may be others who contested this statement. He was at a loss as to what to do, he couldn't go home back to the apartment he and House once shared, yet he was scared, terrified, to go to the ICU. He was sure the sedation had probably worn off by now, and he had no clue what state House would be in. Would he be suffering from withdrawal already? Would he be high as a kite and wanting to stay that way? Would Cuddy have felt unable to cope and left? The truth was, any of those options were perfectly viable, and all had varying degrees of consequence.

H

Cuddy awoke with her head on House's shoulder, feeling somewhat more rested than she had done, however once she got her bearings she could feel the tension in his muscles and immediately turned to look at him. His teeth were clenched and he had a vacant stare as he concentrated on anything other than the pain, he didn't even realise that she'd stirred. She slipped off the bed and took his hand, trying to get his attention.

'House, look at me,' and he slowly turned his head, his bright blue eyes tainted with tears. She couldn't take it. 'I'm going to up your morphine,' she told him and started to move towards the drugs cart, but he grabbed her hand.

'Don't, I'll be fine,' he protested and tried to put on a brave face, but she saw through it.

She sighed. 'House, you've already had the opiates and you're going to have to go through withdrawal anyway, you may as well have the morphine. It's the only thing that's going to touch the pain, and now is really not the time to start detoxing, your body is under enough strain as it is.' House knew she was saying the right things, but turning to the opiates felt like giving in.

'Cuddy, I don't want to have to take those drugs again. I can be strong, I promise,' he whispered with a longing in his voice, trying his very hardest to convince her that he was ok, that he could manage on his own. Her heart broke. She sat on the edge of his bedside and cupped his cheek with her palm, stroking her thumb across the stubble.

'You're already being strong, ok? Don't you feel you have to prove anything to anyone, because _I_ know what you've been through, and _I_ know what you are going through now, and I am telling you to let me help you, and not to let the situation get any worse. If you start withdrawal now, quite frankly it could kill you House and I wouldn't be able to go on, I would fall apart.' The tears once again started to form in her eyes; she couldn't remember the last time that she had shed so many tears in such a short space of time. 'I need you, House, and Rachel needs you, and I _promise_ you that once you're stronger I will help, I will do whatever it takes to help you detox, whether that means you going back to Mayfield or doing it on our bathroom floor, whatever you want I will support you, ok? But _please_, I am begging you to let me increase your morphine dosage now so we can deal with the fallout later.' She was sobbing, and she cursed herself as she wasn't the one who should be allowed the self pity in the current situation, but when she saw him give a curt nod of the head she breathed a sigh of relief and planted a warm kiss on his lips and rested her forehead against his. 'We're going to be ok,' she whispered, in a final bid to reassure him that what he was doing was right.

'I trust you,' he replied in an equally small voice, and closed his eyes.

She finally broke their lock and went over the drugs cart to push another 10mg of morphine straight into his system via the cannula on his forearm. She immediately saw him relax as the drugs coursed through his bloodstream, and when he did so, so did she.

H

**Sorry chapter is a bit short, but it seemed like a good place to stop. Will update ASAP**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, thanks for reviews and feedback. The point was raised that you wouldn't go through withdrawal after one dose, albeit high dose, of morphine, however I can't help but think there would have to have been some consequences of having it and they decided to keep administering it as it helped with the pain best, therefore leading to a dependence once again. **

**May not be entirely realistic, and I hope it doesn't offend anyone who has been through a similar situation/has firsthand experience, but I hope it doesn't put you off reading, as I very much enjoy writing this :) **

_Five days later_

'Cuddy, do you really have to be here for this?' House asked her in a petulant manner.

'No, I don't _have_ to be here but I want to be. I need to know what kind of things you'll be doing so that then I can make sure you're actually doing them when we go home,' she told him plainly and carried on reading her magazine in the chair where she'd lived for the past 3 days.

The anti-inflammatory meds had helped dramatically to reduce the pain, and now that the swelling had decreased the pain was much less intense. Despite this however, House had relented and allowed Cuddy to continue to administer regular doses of morphine so as to stop the effects of withdrawal for now.

'Look, I promise you I'll do them, why don't you go home and get some decent sleep? You haven't left the hospital yet and you know that while I'm doing this I can't be getting into any real trouble, it makes sense that you choose now to take a break.'

'I don't need a break, and I know that the real reason you want me to leave is so that you can berate the physical therapist without meeting my scowling glare, and, because you're scared of how much it'll hurt and don't want me to see that anymore.' She saw by his face that she'd got it dead on. While he prided himself on being able to read her every emotion, he didn't realise that when it came to him she could do the exact same. He exhaled.

'Cuddy, please, I don't know how badly this is going to hurt and yes you're right, I don't see any reason to prolong the amount of time you see me screaming like a baby. I can get her to give you a list of the exercises afterwards if you want? Because when I do them at home they're still gonna hurt like a bitch and I know you'll be there then, so give yourself a break, go home, and I promise I'll be fine.' He took her hand and tenderly caressed it, willing her to leave, for both of their sakes. She could see how desperately he wanted her to go and she wasn't offended, she understood how vulnerable he had been feeling and she didn't want to make things worse. And she wasn't going to lie; a few hours sleep in her own bed wouldn't go amiss. He could see her relenting.

'Ok,' she sighed, 'if that's what you want. I'll go home, call Rachel, have a proper sleep; shower, and I promise I'll be back by 7. How does that sound?'

He kissed her hand. 'That sounds perfect. Tell Rachel I miss her, ok?'

'House, I'm not going to lie to her.'

'I'm being serious, I really do miss her. We'd sorta become a family and then I went and messed it up, so tell her.'

'Don't be silly, you didn't mess it up. She was going to be with Julia for the week anyway so we would have been on our own despite what's gone on. I mean, I can think of better things we could have been doing with our time...' she said, trying her best to make light of the situation, until she realised that a rather terrifying woman was standing in the doorway.

'Gregory House?' She boomed in a voice that matched her persona perfectly.

'That is I,' he replied, casting Cuddy a sideways glance.

'Amanda Sutton, nice to meet you,' she said as she threw her bag down on the chair next to Cuddy's and warmly shook his hand. 'And you are?'

'Dr Lisa Cuddy, Hou- I mean Greg's partner,' she said as she stood up and was too met with a fierce handshake. 'I'm going to let you two get on, see you later,' she said as she tenderly kissed him on the lips and squeezed his arm. 'You'll do great, ok?' She whispered so that the Beast couldn't hear her.

'Ok,' he replied. 'I love you.'

'I know,' she said, and she left the two of them to begin.

H

Before Cuddy left the building, she decided to swing by House's office so that she could give him an update on what had been happening while he had been gone. As she approached the glass wall she could see Chase and Taub sitting around the table in their usual seats while Foreman was on whiteboard duty, clearly liking the little bit of authority he had obtained, until he made eye-contact with her and suddenly looked very uncomfortable. When the other pair realised he had stopped mid-flow they followed his gaze and also shifted uncomfortably in their seats. She almost walked away, but this was her hospital and she was their boss, and she came here for a purpose and she was going to fulfil it.

As she opened the office door, both Chase and Taub rose to their feet as one traditionally would when a superior entered the room, however to Cuddy it made her feel uneasy. 'Please, don't act all weird, ok? I just came by to find out how your case was going; I think he might need something to distract his mind this evening and a good medical puzzle might be what we need.'

None of the fellows wanted to be the first to speak and they all waited for another to make a move, until Foreman finally opened his mouth. '27 year old Caucasian woman, presents with papules covering large areas of her body, some of which are becoming hyper pigmented. Hugely swollen lymph nodes, fever, vomiting, been to 6 doctors in the past few months and none are sure what this is, and to be honest, we aren't sure where to begin either. Taub thinks autoimmune, Chase thinks some bacterial infection, we can't decide on a course of action.' He handed Cuddy the file, which she took and glanced at before nodding her head.

'Great, thanks. I can't see anything glaringly obvious so hopefully this will keep him occupied for a while later.' Unsure of what else to say, she started to walk towards the door before Chase spoke.

'How is he doing?' She turned to look at them, after all none of this was really their fault but she couldn't help but feel they were somehow implicated, even if it just meant them stopping him from performing that bloody brain biopsy to start with.

'He's doing a little better; he's with a physical therapist right now as he hasn't had any movement for the past 3 days and we don't want the muscle to atrophy. The longer he leaves it the worse it will be so he decided he wanted to start as soon as possible.'

'And the morphine? I mean, has he started withdrawal?' Chase couldn't help but ask, he could feel Foreman and Taub glowering at him at the inappropriateness of his question but Cuddy knew he was battling with his conscience and didn't really resent it.

'He's on a continuous morphine drip at the moment, withdrawal would be too much for his body to cope with now but when he's a little stronger we'll have to address it,' she explained, suddenly feeling drained. 'Thank you for the case, I'll pass it on later. If you have any breakthroughs let me know,' and with that she turned and left them reeling in her wake.

H

'Right,' the physical therapist said, 'we're going to start off slowly and easily because not going to lie, having seen your history this is going to hurt. First of all, I want you to sit forward, and sling your legs over the left-hand side of the bed.' House looked at her. This small and menial task was much harder than it would have sounded to anyone who was untrained, and the motion of pulling his right leg across to the other side of the bed was going to be very difficult. The lack of movement he'd had over the last few days had played havoc with the muscle and he couldn't remember the last time it felt this stiff, not to mention that while the swelling had decreased it hadn't completely disappeared.

He threw the duvet back and slowly sat forward. He shuffled his left leg across the bed as far as it could go before he needed to move the right, and automatically his hands went to support the underside of his thigh to help him manoeuvre it. 'Nope, all muscle power. Hands away,' she chastised, to which House sent her a withering look. 'Hey, if we're going to do this we may as well do it properly. This is an everyday task that will be made easier in the long run if we work on it.'

'Well in that case this is stupid as I sleep on the right side of the bed, and wouldn't need to get out on the left.'

'Therefore, getting up should be made 10x easier when you go back to doing that after you've mastered this. Now come on.' Very slowly, House dragged his right leg across the bed until it met the left, and eventually he reached the required position. He sat with both his legs dangling off of the bed and took some deep breaths for composure before the next task began.

'Ok, great,' she said. 'Now, I'm going to manipulate your right leg for a bit to try and increase blood flow and mobility. It will hurt, and I'm going to show Lisa what to do so that she can help you in the mornings and evenings, but it will be necessary for the recovery process. Ready?'

'If I say 'no' will it stop you?' He quipped, but she stared at him and clasped his leg with her burly hands.

'We're going to start off easy and as you get stronger I'll increase the intensity. Put your hands on my shoulders.'

He warily obliged, and she started simply by taking hold just below his right knee and drawing it up towards his body until he pulled such a face that it was a signal to stop. She lowered it again, waited 30 seconds, and then repeated the motion a further 9 times. By the time she was finished, he was a shaking, sweating wreck.

'You did good today,' she said as she helped him back into a horizontal position on the bed, 'I know it may seem inconsequential but you'll really notice the benefit when you start to get up and about.'

House nodded at her before closing his eyes and resting his head back against his pillow. 'I'll catch up with Lisa soon; I have another patient here tomorrow so I can go through the exercises I was talking about with her then. I'll see you soon,' she finished with, and left without him saying another word.

H

Cuddy's alarm went off at six o'clock that evening, thrusting her back into the land of the living. It took her a while to gauge where she was, it seemed like forever since she'd slept in her own bed, however without House it didn't quite feel right. She rubbed her face and sat up, before getting up and gathering a few things to take back to the hospital – some books, a warm jumper, and the picture of Rachel that usually sat on her bedside table. She quickly applied a touching of makeup before she got back into the car and proceeded to drive back to the hospital.

She walked through the double doors and approached the lifts, acknowledging the apologetic smiles of sympathy that she received from a few of the nurses and ignoring the more sneering looks she got from those who still couldn't understand her relationship with House. She pressed the call button and waited for the doors to open, however when they did she was met by a dishevelled, unshaven man who she used to think of as her closest friend. When he saw her he downcast his eyes in shame and tried to walk past her without saying so much as a word, but there was no way Cuddy was going to let that happen.

'Wilson,' she said as he moved passed, 'you look awful?' she was shocked by his appearance, and despite her anger towards him she couldn't help but know that inside he would have been torn to shreds as his conscience would have got the better of him.

'I haven't left the hospital since, y'know,' he mumbled, still not meeting her eye. They stood in silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to say.

'Don't you want to know how he's doing?'

'I was too afraid to ask, too afraid to find out, I've been sitting in my office playing out all the scenarios and couldn't think of a single positive one, Cuddy. I've convinced myself I don't deserve to know anyway so I'll just go, ok?'

'No, you do not get to mope around and feel sorry for yourself. You made a decision for a reason and you must now live with it, and despite what you think he's actually doing surprisingly well. He's met with a physical therapist today, he's agreed to detox when he's stronger, and he's talking to me about everything, so considering the circumstances he is doing magnificently.' Her voice had become louder throughout her speech and had drawn attention to them both. All the staff now knew the circumstances surrounding what had happened as gossip spreads like wildfire and were eagerly anticipating a showdown. Cuddy sighed.

'Look, why don't you go home, have a shower and a decent sleep and come back tomorrow. Come and visit. You two have endured so much crap in your weird and twisted friendship that you owe it to yourselves and to him to try and sort it out.' She turned away without giving him a chance to protest, knowing that he would feel obliged to do what she said.

'Cuddy? Thank you,' he whispered. She turned back to him.

'Don't thank me yet Wilson, I still resent you for what you chose and if House forgives you, so will I. Otherwise, I don't see how we can ever come past this.' The doors closed and when alone, Cuddy let out an almighty sigh, pleased by her own boldness. Wilson on the other hand slowly turned away and was faced by tens of faces all eying his every move. Self conscious didn't cut it.

H

Cuddy approached House's room and slid open the door. He looked ghastly. He was pale and had dark rings under his eyes, but when he saw her he mustered up a small smile and tried to sit up.

'Here, let me help you,' she said and placed her bag and the file from his team down on her chair. She helped him sit forward and then proceeded to fluff up the cushions behind his back so he was in a more upright position, and then planted a kiss on his lips. 'How are you feeling?'

'I'm ok,' he said tiredly, 'it's good to see you.'

'I've only been gone a few hours, was I wrong to leave?'

'No, no I told you to, but it's still nice to have you back,' he smiled. She took his hand and squeezed it.

'How was it?'

'Sore, and tiring. The woman is a dragon. She said she'd come by tomorrow to show you some of her moves.'

'Should I be jealous?' She smirked, trying to make light of the situation.

'Don't worry, you're safe,' he assured her and stroked her hand for confirmation.

'Would you like something? Are you in pain?'

'Of course I'm in pain, but no, I don't want anything. I'll ride it out, I'm tired and will probably fall asleep soon.'

'Ok. Well I take it you don't want to see this then...' she said, picking up the file, taunting him with it.

'Now I didn't say that,' he said and tried to grab it from her.

'Oh no, if you're too tired then maybe we should wait?'

'Well I'm not that tired after all, and we wouldn't want to let the patient suffer because the doctors they have are incompetent and the only decent one who could help is _tired_ could we?'

'Hmm, I suppose not,' she grinned, and passed it over. He opened it and quickly scanned through the symptoms and history, his mind rapidly at work.

'Has she been travelling recently? Sub-Saharan Africa maybe?' He said, looking up at her.

'I don't know, did they not ask?'

'Only true idiots wouldn't ask, and they can't be that stupid as they've been working for me for years, however they may have accepted she was telling the truth and not dug around. Did they go to her house?'

'Again, I'm not sure-'

'Get them in here.'

'Are you sure? I mean you're still weak, do you want visitors?'

'They aren't well-wishers they're my employees and they will come when summoned. Page them.'

H

**It should be said that I know absolutely nothing about physical therapy, and to be honest the actual exercises probably aren't very important to the story but thought I'd try! Hope it doesn't really bother anyone who actually knows what they're talking about. **


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry for the ridiculously long delay, have so much going with university application/exams/coursework etc but I've finally gotten around to the next chapter! Hope I haven't put you off, will try to update more regularly from now on.**

**Also, just want to praise 'In the House' for the amazing 'Pranks' series/universe she's written, has me slightly addicted and I'm always waiting for the next chapter! Probably also part of the reason this has taken me so long to upload, I seriously recommend you go and read them from the beginning if you're a big House/Cuddy fan.**

Taub, Chase and Foreman weren't sure what to expect when they got the page to come to House's room. Chase was still apprehensive about what he'd done, Foreman, while he'd never admit it, was House's biggest admirer and Taub was just scared he would be in a foul mood, however when they approached and saw that he was sitting up with his glasses on and file across his lap, they relaxed slightly. Chase slid the door open, and House looked up.

'So which of you morons took the history?' He asked in a surprisingly normal manner.

'I did,' Foreman replied, stepping forward. 'No previous surgeries, broken arm when she was 12, not on any medication, she works for an advertising agency, her husband is currently in Ecuador as he's part of a surgical team working in a rural hospital to fix cleft palates and she hasn't seen him in 3 months. No family history or heart problems or any known genetic conditions-'

'Just stop, you've obviously missed something. Who checked the home?' House interjected.

'Myself and Taub,' Chase answered, 'there was no mould, no pesticides, nothing out of the ordinary.'

'Mmm hmm, now tell me, does the patient experience any itching?'

'She was scratching her arms a bit, why?'

'Oh and you didn't think that relevant? Now also tell me, has this husband of hers also sent her a few gifts since he's been away?'

'How the hell are we supposed to know?' Foreman asked, getting frustrated now that House obviously knew the answer and yet was stringing them along for maximum effect. Cuddy glanced up from the magazine she'd been reading quietly in the corner, also intrigued that he'd got the diagnosis so quickly despite everything going on, when she herself hadn't seen anything.

'Actually, did you see the cardigan she was wearing when she was admitted?' Taub asked the room, the first he'd said since being there. When he got no response, he continued. 'It was made from alpaca wool and looked hand woven, it was probably a gift.'

'See? I knew the women Taub spends his time with would finally rub off on him!'

'I still don't see how that's relevant,' Foreman replied incredulously.

'Oh come on, do I have to spell this out? I'm high and I got this in 2 minutes! I thought it would be fun seeing the look on your faces when you finally worked out what idiots you'd been but apparently we won't get that far.' He closed the file and took his glasses off. 'She's got Onchocerciasis, or river-blindness.'

'But she's not lost her sight or been to sub-Saharan Africa?' Chase reasoned, not quite believing the diagnosis.

'You're questioning me? Seriously? For a start, I'm board certified in Infectious disease, which should be enough for you. Secondly, it's also occasionally found in central and south America, one of the little worms must have made its way back in the yarn, and thirdly, it just simply hadn't reached her eyes yet. Happy? Start her on doxycycline, she'll be fine. Just get her to incinerate the cardigan.'

He sat back in the bed and pushed his thumbs into his eyes, the tiredness and pain taking its toll. Cuddy stood up and picked the file up off of his lap and handed it to Foreman. 'Start the treatment, if she doesn't get better, let _me _know,' she emphasised. He nodded, and they turned and left the room.

'Are you ok?' she asked, sitting on the edge of his bed.

'I'm fine,' he mumbled, unmoving.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have given you the case. I thought it would help take your mind off things.'

He lowered his hands into his lap and played with her fingertips which were resting there. 'You did the right thing, it did help and I didn't feel any pain when I was working it out,' he smiled weakly. 'What did cause pain was seeing that the morons I call a team couldn't work something as simple as that out.'

'Come on, I didn't see it either,' she smirked, trying to deflect some of the fire away from his fellows.

'Yeah, but you aren't really a doctor anymore, are you?' He said dead pan, taking her back a little until he too smirked, causing her to relax once again. 'I just would have expected them to be a bit hotter on something like that.'

'Yeah, well, they can't all be Gregory House now, can they?'

'No they can't,' he agreed. Cuddy stood up and smoothed out his duvet.

'Is there anything you want me to do for you before you go to sleep? She asked, getting ready for another night on the chair.

'Yeah,' he replied, 'I want you to go home, get a really decent sleep, and come back tomorrow with Rachel.'

'House, I'm fine, I went home this afternoon and even if you do want Rachel here, which I can't believe, I think you want her because you think I want her, I can just go and pick her up in the morning.'

'A few hours sleep doesn't make up for 5 nights in a chair, please, I want you to sleep properly, and I really do want Rachel here. Not just because she makes you happy, but because she makes me smile and I desperately want to have a conversation with someone who isn't pitying me, or blaming me, or-'

'Blaming you? Who's blaming you?' She asked, suddenly at attention and walking to the foot of his bed.

'Well not you, at least you say you don't and I know you're trying to believe it, but I can tell Taub thought it was my fault, and the nurses are looking at me funny.'

'House, you really need to understand this, the only person other than Mr Shoreditch that I blame for this is myself, not you. And secondly, since when did you care what other people think? And to be honest, the nurses just all think you're a jerk, that's why they're looking at you funny.'

'Ok,' he replied, in a desperate attempt to end the conversation.

'I'm serious!'

'Ok, I believe you,' he whispered, his eyes starting to droop as the day's activities started to take a serious toll. 'Please go home, you need to sleep properly and being here isn't helping you.'

'Yes, it is. There is nowhere I'd rather be than the place where you are, and besides, I'll have to go home tomorrow night when I have Rachel so one more night here won't do me any harm.' She sat back down in the chair and tenderly stroked House's forehead as his eyes finally came to a close, too tired to protest anymore. She sighed, devastated at what had become of him, and devastated for the state of his and Wilson's friendship.

**H**

House was aroused from his not so peaceful slumber following his physical therapy session the next afternoon by the gleeful squeal of a four year old. 'House!' Rachel exclaimed and freed her hand from her mother's on spying her playmate through the glass windows of his room.

'Rachel be careful!' Cuddy tried to instruct but her words fell on deaf ears as her daughter careered towards House, who was trying his hardest to look anything but in pain.

He slowly propped himself up on his bed and prepared for the onslaught, however he had to admit that seeing Rachel in all her innocence, her being the only human besides his mother who never saw his faults, had dramatically improved his so far pain and boredom riddled day.

'Hey, Rach,' he smiled as she finally stopped running when she reached the side of his bed. 'Did you enjoy Aunt Julia's?' He was trying his hardest to portray normality for her, the last thing she needed was to know how dire he felt, and she definitely didn't need to know that this was only the beginning.

Cuddy had reached the room and was trying to prise Rachel's coat of her, she too excited to do it herself, and she gave House's hand a reassuring squeeze.

'It was ok. Luke made me play dinosaurs with him all weekend and Aunt Julia made me eat spinach but it was ok, because we went out and had ice cream and I had honeycomb!'

'Honeycomb! But everyone knows that rum and raisin is the best, but remember when you ask Aunt Julia for it to ask for it minus the raisin.'

'Minus the raisin,' she affirmed seriously, as if it were her most vital task to remember that information.

House smiled at her, he was surprised by how attached he had grown to Rachel and when he and Cuddy first started seeing each other he definitely didn't expect it, but as he truthfully told Cuddy yesterday, he honestly had wanted to see her. Cuddy was watching their interaction with a warm glow inside, never having believed that one day this could be her life. The only amendment she would make would be that this was happening at home, in her living room, and not in a hospital room.

The silence was broken by a small voice. 'House?' Rachel asked seriously.

'Yeah?' He said smiling, and sweeping her fringe out of her eyes.

'When will you be better?' Her words shook him to the core. How was he supposed to answer her question truthfully? And what did she want to know? When would he be out of the hospital? When would he not need the cane? Cuddy desperately wanted to step and save the situation, but she knew that this was something that House would need for himself, and besides, Rachel hadn't asked her and she's had plenty of opportunity to.

House blinked a couple of times, before leaning over the side of the bed and in one swift movement lifted her next to his left side. Her little fist grabbed onto his gown and she rested her head on his shoulder as she patiently waited for her answer. 'Soon, Rach. In a couple of days we can watch cartoons together all day, and then I may have to go away for a little while, and then I'll come back and I'll be all better, ok?'

'Where will you go?' She asked in a concerned voice. Why would he be leaving her?

'To somewhere with special doctors who can help me.'

'But Mummy's a doctor, she can help you!' Rachel replied cheerfully, as if she had just solved all of the problems that needed answers.

House stalled. There was no way that he could get Rachel to understand this, but Cuddy on the other hand, who was now gazing at him intently, wanted a valid answer as to why after her promise to stay with him he was deciding to do it alone.

'I know Mummy's a doctor Rach, and she's amazing. In fact, she's the best person in the world that anyone would want to be with them when they're sick, but sometimes it isn't fair to make her do all of the work and she needs to understand that sometimes, she needs to be selfish and do what's right for her.' Rachel had switched off. All she had gauged was that House was still going to leave and that her Mummy was the best doctor in the world, but for Cuddy, the words had a much deeper meaning.

Rachel was still firmly placed on House's chest while Cuddy's steely eyes looked at him with incredulity. This was definitely a conversation they were going to need to have. However that would have to wait because at that moment, a very dishevelled albeit slightly more together-looking oncologist had appeared at the window.

'Come on Rach,' Cuddy said, the first of the pair to recover, 'we need to go and sort some things out in my office and let House and Uncle James talk.'

'Uncle James!' Rachel exclaimed and sat up. Uncle James was by far her favourite uncle, why wasn't he coming in the room? Cuddy scooped her daughter up in her arms and gave House a lingering kiss on the lips.

'Do you want me to make him leave?' She whispered so only he could hear.

'No,' he mumbled, his eyes still locked onto his 'best friend', 'I need to speak to him.'

'Ok. Well get one of the nurses to let me know when you want me to come back.' He nodded slightly, and Cuddy left the room, giving Wilson a withering look. Rachel was too confused to say a word, aghast that her favourite people in the world were no longer happy to see each other.

**H**

Wilson sat fidgeting in the chair which Cuddy has reluctantly vacated. House was yet to say a word, and Wilson knew he'd have to initiate the conversation. He'd expected screaming, a character assassination, but so far nothing.

'I'm sorry if I came at a bad time,' he started. 'Cuddy didn't say when would be a good time to come by, I didn't know Rachel was visiting.'

'Cuddy told you to come by?'

'No. She suggested that I should, to 'try to fix our twisted friendship.' I didn't know whether you would want to see me, but when she said that I just thought that, I don't know, that she was right and that I owe it to you to explain.'

'Damn right you do.' House stonily replied.

Wilson sat for a moment and tried to gather his thoughts, try to work out the best way to explain his thought processes, all the while House waited.

'The only way I can describe it, was that I was being selfish,' he started as House looked on, still waiting. 'House, I don't know what to say. I was put on the spot in a stressful situation and all I could think about was Amber.'

'Amber?' House asked, now thoroughly confused.

'It was supposed to be her 35th birthday. That evening I had planned to go to her grave, we were going to have dinner together, I'd bought flowers, and instead I was here with you. Again. And all that was running through my mind was that yet again I had to be the one to cover your back when I should have been with Amber. Due to your arrogance and stupidity, once again, she was the one who would have to suffer.' Wilson's eyes had filled with hot, angry, devastating tears and House remained unmoving. He was trying to process what he'd heard, and God knows it wasn't all rational, but in that moment he forgave Wilson.

House, deep down, blamed himself for Amber's death and the fact that the decision Wilson made was regarding it almost seemed as penance.

'Ok.' House answered.

'Ok?' Wilson asked. 'How can you say ok? I ruined your sobriety, I'm going to have caused you pain, and all you can say is ok?' He was amazed. This was not the House he was used to and it unnerved him.

'I forgive you Wilson. You've had to put up with my crap for long enough; it's not a surprise you finally snapped. But there is one thing I ask.'

'Anything,' Wilson sniffed, trying to regain his composure.

'When I get out of here, after I spend a couple of days at home with my family, one of two things is going to happen. One, I check myself into Mayfield, detox, and then come home. Or two, I detox with you. I told Cuddy I was going to go somewhere, go and get help, but the truth is that I need her, and Rachel, and she can't come and see me in Mayfield. If I were with you, at mine or your apartment, I could see her for half an hour a day, and have something to look forward to, to see me through the day. It isn't fair to make her handle this, none of it is her fault. It's not her fault I'm an addict or her fault that you caused me to relapse, and I sure as hell don't want Rachel anywhere near me when this is happening. She doesn't need to see this.'

'Of course. If that's what you need, I will do it.'

'Thank you, Wilson,' House answered sincerely.

'Don't thank me. Please, don't ever thank me.'


	5. Chapter 5

'Right House, I think it's about time we can discharge you,' smiled Chase as he walked into House's room the following morning while looking at his chart. 'There's no further worry regarding the blow to the head you received and the swelling in your leg seems to be going down nicely. Your physiotherapist has agreed that you've progressed sufficiently so that you'll be able to get around ok at home, and providing you won't be on your own, though I doubt that very much having seen the way Cuddy has been guarding you, so you're free to leave.' Chase finally looked up from the chart and up at House, whose facial expression wasn't exactly as he was expecting. 'Y'know this is good news, right?'

'Yeah, right,' House replied while trying to pull himself into a more upright position in the bed.

'Look, I know it's going to be a while until you're back to how you were, and Amanda Sutton has agreed to continue working with you at home which is great, but you're going to do a lot better at home in your own environment with no nurses to piss off. You'll find you can recover a lot more quickly.'

'Maybe physically I'll recover better at home, you know while I'm doing _all_ that walking around with a walking frame, but all it means is that until I'm stronger I'm going to have to continue to medicate with oxycodone and then go cold turkey. Who the hell is that going to help?'

'Well for starters, you. Because then you'll be clean. And that in turn will help Cuddy and Rachel as you'll be healthier and able to stick around for longer.' House looked at Chase and saw his point of view, but the idea of being totally dependent on Cuddy and Wilson for the next few weeks really didn't appeal to him. He didn't want to have to need for Cuddy wait on him on hand and foot or Wilson to nurse him through a painful detox. He wished he were strong enough to be able to do it alone.

Chase could see the cogs whirring inside his head, and he worried about what House may try. 'House, you need them, and they need you. This isn't one sided, and it's something they want to help you through. You don't have to feel like a burden, as I'm sure if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want to do anything to help Cuddy through this?'

'Of course!' He replied, indignant that Chase even had to ask.

'So why do you feel that she wouldn't want to do the same for you?' Now that, was an age old question that House still didn't have a decent answer to.

**H**

Cuddy was at House's apartment, desperately trying to tidy away all of the medical journals that littered the floor, the takeaway boxes which littered the kitchen and the alcohol bottles which littered the piano in preparation for his homecoming. It had been a while since he had spent more than a single fleeting night here alone and the evidence of his former life as a bachelor was still very much apparent. They had decided that it be better he recovered here as everything was all on one floor, while at hers the master bedroom was upstairs, something House struggled to negotiate at the best of times. Once he had managed to get up the three steps leading into his building that would be it on the stair front at his.

She had brought the mattress off Rachel's bed over with her and set it up in House's office, which they thought would be preferable to three in a bed in case either his leg got knocked by someone fidgeting, or he woke her up if he had to get up and deal with his pain in the night. Hopefully, the set up would only have to be for a few days until they went home and Wilson came over, something which Cuddy was still not happy about. She didn't understand why House was willing to let Wilson be the one to be in charge of his health during such a crucial time; however she also understood why he didn't want Rachel to be privy to what was going on. All she could do was grin and grit her teeth and try to overcome her resentment for Wilson. As she said, if House forgave him, she would try to too. The sooner this was done and dusted with, the sooner they could go back to their lives.

After she finished hoovering and dusting the apartment she grabbed some comfy tracksuit bottoms and a loose t-shirt along with a well-worn pair of trainers from House's wardrobe and folded them up and put them in her bag. The fridge was stocked full of food and the last thing she needed to do before going to the hospital to collect him was pick up his prescription for the oxycodone. She hated what the drugs were going to do to his body and she hated what they represented, but she also knew that in order to get through the next few days they were going to be an essential. With a sigh, she gathered up her belongings and left to go to the hospital.

**H**

As Cuddy entered House's hospital room, she caught the tail end of his session with the physiotherapist.

'Well then Dr House that concludes our final session here at the hospital' said Amanda merrily.

'Excellent,' he gasped between laboured breaths as he sat down heavily on the side of his bed with his feet dangling off of the edge.

'You still have a long way to go, and at home you'll have to start to do more and more for yourself to keep the muscle active, but within a few weeks you should be at the same level of mobility you were prior to the incident which is great progress. I've already shown Lisa how she can help you with some of the exercises and how she can massage the leg when the pain gets bad, so you're good to go.'

House just nodded in understanding as he lay back into his pillows and supported his right leg as he hauled it onto the bed. In changing his position he saw Cuddy standing in the doorway and a small smile made its way onto his lips. 'Hey,' he said, almost in a whisper. Amanda turned and saw her too, and also smiled as she made her way towards the door.

'Hi, Lisa. We had a good session this morning, he behaved himself very well. I've worn him out for you for when you get home so he doesn't cause too much havoc!'

'Thanks, we really appreciate how much you've helped, and while Greg would never admit it, you're definitely the best physio he's seen.'

'I am here, you know,' House muttered tiredly from his bed, still laying on top of the covers.

'I know, how could I ever forget?' Cuddy replied jokingly, and she made her way towards the bed.

'Well I'll see you two tomorrow morning at home, sound ok with everyone?'

'That sounds great, thanks again,' Cuddy smiled as Amanda left the room. 'How are you feeling?' She asked House in a softer voice as she moved his hair from his sweaty brow.

'Exhausted. She really kicked my ass this morning. Can we just go home?'

'Soon. Maybe it would be best if we cleaned you up a bit before we go? You're drenched in sweat and you don't want to get your clean clothes dirty, not to mention that getting in and out of the bath is still going to be a bit of a mission for the next few days.'

'Cuddy, as much as I love your sponge baths there are other ways you can get me naked,' he attempted a deflection, but it fell flat.

'I'm being serious. I know you hate it as it makes you feel like an invalid but practically speaking, it may be the best thing to do for today. Then, when you get home, you can get straight into bed,' she reasoned. Too tired to argue, he gave a small nod of the head and Cuddy went to get some hot water and cloths.

**H**

Cuddy breathed a sigh of relief as she pulled up outside House's apartment. She sincerely hoped that now they were home the majority of the turmoil would be over, bar the detox, and that House would be happier. Being in the hospital and receiving the physiotherapy seemed to reaffirm his view that he was nothing more than a cripple who was a drain on resources, a view which Cuddy tried to abolish with all of her might, but hopefully now that would be less of an issue.

'You ready?' She asked her passenger as she turned off the engine. He looked at her and then back at the steps leading into his building, and gave a tired sigh.

'Let's get this over with and then we can just lie in bed together. Naked, of course. I don't think I'll be up to much more than just laying but it's a start,' he smiled. Cuddy leant over and gave him a warm kiss on the lips.

'I think that could be arranged.'

Despite House's insistence that he could get into the building with just his cane, Cuddy ensured that he knew it was non-negotiable that at least for the next week or so he used the walking frame. It allowed him to distribute his weight more evenly and wouldn't put so much strain on his shoulder and back, as well as providing more support for his further weakened limb. As they reached the bottom step they began the laborious climb together, Cuddy having slipped her left arm around his waist in an attempt to add even further support. Once they had reached the top step House let out a relieved gasp that they'd somehow made it without both of them ending up in a heap on the cold pavement below, and Cuddy too looked equally pleased.

'Come on,' she urged, 'we're nearly there now.' They entered the building as Cuddy fumbled around for his key before inserting it into the lock.

As the door swung open, House was overwhelmed by the smell of polish and cleaning products. 'You moved all my stuff?' He asked, despite the answer being obvious.

'House, this place was a state so yes I tidied. I also had to hide all your porn and remove the hundreds of empty liquor bottles before Rachel comes home tomorrow.'

'Tomorrow?' He asked surprised as he turned his head to look at her.

'Yeah,' she replied looking guiltily at the floor, 'I thought you may want the evening to yourself without a nosy four year old on your case and asking a load of questions, so I asked Julia if she'd have her one more night.'

To tell the truth, House was slightly disappointed. Having Rachel around would have made him feel more at home, however there was a look in Cuddy's eye which told him that she already felt awful for spending another night away from her daughter and he wasn't about to make her feel worse.

'I suppose it does make the lying in bed naked thing a bit easier,' he quipped to try and lighten the situation, to which Cuddy smiled slightly, seemingly reassured that she'd done the right thing.

After a trip to the bathroom, the couple eventually struggled to the bedroom where they flopped down on top of the covers, both exhausted and fully clothed.

'What's the time?' House mumbled, his eyes shut with an arm slung over them.

Cuddy slowly turned her head and sighed when she saw what her answer would be. 'It's only quarter to six.' House groaned. 'We've become an old couple,' she said as she looked over to him. 'We need to eat, what do you fancy? I can cook something if you like?'

'I've literally just come out of the hospital, Cuddy, are you trying to land me back there?' He looked at her tired face, his joke falling flat. 'I'm kidding. You're as tired as I am and I'm not hungry, just order something you fancy.'

'House, you have to eat. You shouldn't really take oxycodone on an empty stomach anyway; you have to stay as healthy as you can. I would have thought you'd be dying for some proper food after days of hospital food.'

'Cuddy, I have taken plenty of pain medication on an empty stomach for years, as you well know, and I really don't feel like breaking that habit now,' he snapped, but decided to stop with that train of thought when he saw the colour rise in Cuddy's face. 'I'm sorry, I just want to sleep.'

'I don't care what you want, I'm going to order pizza because it's the easiest thing to eat in bed, and mark my words, you will eat it. If you fall asleep before it comes then I _will_ wake you up.' She sat up and got off of the bed, then stalked out of the room without looking back.

When she reached the living room she threw herself down onto the sofa and put her head in her hands. Slowly, the tears started to leak from her eyes and stream down her cheeks, the severity of the situation and the distance still to go finally hitting her. Of course she was fully aware of House's history and his addiction, but the blasé nature to which he could refer to it and even bring it up when she was only trying to help was very difficult to take. It was as though his enforced relapse didn't even bother him, maybe he was even pleased that he now had a valid excuse to take the drugs his body longed for. She quickly tried to stamp the thought from her mind, of course he wouldn't jeopardise his family life, the life they had started to build together, but she'd be lying if she said it hadn't crossed her mind.

Rationally, she knew that the only way to truly know what House was thinking would be to ask him, but that conversation would be a gruelling one, and maybe not one to have now when they were both so tired and tempers were already frayed. Reluctantly though, she admitted that within the next few days the topic would have to be discussed.

Back in the bedroom, House was furious with himself. He knew Cuddy was trying to help and he knew that she was struggling with guilt, guilt over the incident and guilt relating right back to the infarction itself, and yet he still knew that what he said he had said intentionally for maximum impact in an attempt to end the conversation. He had been selfish, but still believed that he had the right to make his own decisions regarding his body and as far as he was concerned, one more dose of painkillers on an empty stomach was not going to be his main problem when it came to his health. He was a grown man and if he didn't want to eat he sure as hell wasn't going to be forced. However that was until he heard her crying in the next room.

Laboriously, House pulled himself into a sitting position and lowered his legs over the side of the bed, then firmly gripping the walking frame he pulled himself up onto his left leg, his right hovering slightly above the floor. As he moved the frame forward, he gingerly placed his right foot on the ground, scrunching his face up and quickly shifting his weight back to the left. He repeated this painful procedure until he reached the entrance to the living room and saw Cuddy's trembling body on the couch, her shoulders heaving as she sobbed.

Cuddy became aware of a figure watching her, and swiftly used the back of her hands to wipe away her tears, an awful attempt to hide the fact she'd been crying. 'Hey,' she said as evenly as she could, 'I'm just about to order, you sure you don't want anything?'

'Well I'm sure I could manage something, just get a larger size of whatever you're having and I'll help out,' he smiled and proceeded to take another step towards her. Cuddy too gave a weak smile and reached for the phone. 'It's ok, you can go back to bed and I'll be through in a minute.'

'Nah, I'll wait with you. Besides, need to do some walking to keep the muscle strong.' Cuddy resisted the urge to go over and help him, despite still being annoyed, and he painfully made it over and finally sat down next to her.

Just as she was about to dial, he spoke. 'I'm sorry,' he murmured, his head hung low while sweat glistened on his forehead. Cuddy looked at him. He truly looked remorseful and she couldn't help but fall under his spell. Her anger dissipated, however its reason not forgotten, and she reached her arm around his back and laid her head on his shoulder. 'It's ok.'

'Here, let me order, go have a bath and relax for half an hour before the food comes. What do you want?' Cuddy lifted her head and looked at him sceptically. 'I'll be fine for half an hour Cuddy, what do you want me to order for you?'

'Um, I was just gonna get a Hawaiian one, are you sure you'll be ok? Are you sure you don't want me to make sure you get back to bed alright?'

'Cuddy, seriously, I'll be fine. Now go.' Reluctantly, she stood up and left to draw a bath, while House dialled for their food.

**[H]**

Timed to perfection, the pizza came moments after Cuddy had finished drying herself off in the bedroom. House had made his way back to bed and had propped himself up with a mountain of pillows and settled with an old medical journal to read while he waited for her to finish. Unfortunately, it didn't really look as though the bath had done much to relax her, knowing her she was probably worrying about him the entire time she lay there, but at least he'd tried.

Cuddy left to pay the delivery boy and came back into the bedroom with the large box. House had to admit that it smelled very good and while he still wouldn't go as far as to say he was hungry, he wasn't completely against the idea of a couple of slices. She heavily sat down on her side of the bed and put the box on top of the duvet in between them, taking the biggest slice out of the box and shovelling half of it into her mouth. House looked at her wide-eyed, Cuddy was usually so sophisticated and ladylike about things, however once he got over the shock he broke out into a wide smile, pleased she still had some humour left in her.

'What? You said you weren't hungry!' She said once she'd successfully managed to swallow without choking.

'Looks like that's a good thing,' he smiled, and took the piece nearest to him. Cuddy smiled, and they finished the rest of the food in a comfortable silence.

Once they were done and the left over slices were put in the fridge, Cuddy brought House through his pills and a glass of water. He gratefully took them, the long time period since his last dose was starting to take a toll, both on his pain and his mind as he felt the familiar need for the drug start to take over. The sad thing was however, that he was now taking the recommended does opposed to the 'House recommended dose,' where he would have taken at least another 4 pills in the same time frame. He knocked them back and once again began the process of pulling himself off the bed to make his way to the bathroom.

'Want me to help?' Cuddy asked quietly.

'No, I can manage,' he gruffly replied, so Cuddy, refusing to watch his pain, flicked around the house and turned off the lights in the living room and kitchen before returning to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable to sleep in, by which time he had successfully made it to the bathroom. When she was nearly ready and the only thing she needed left to do was to brush her teeth, she made her own way to the bathroom and slowly pushed the half open door fully open. House was sitting on the closed toilet lid, his t-shirt in a heap on the floor next to the cistern and his head hung low. He didn't even seem to register her entering the room.

'House?' She asked gingerly, to which he lifted his head, 'you ok?'

'I er, was just starting to take my clothes off to put in the washing basket but couldn't really, um, can you help?' He asked, looking down at his fully clothed bottom half.

'Of course,' she said with minimum fuss and untied the waistband of his trousers. 'I need you to lift your hips up for me, ok?' She asked, and House complied, trying to keep all of his weight on his left leg as he did so. She quickly slipped them past and pulled them the remainder of the way down so that they were bunched around his ankles, then swiftly lifted his left foot and unhooked the leg before being considerably more gentle with the right. Once they were off, she gathered them along with the t-shirt up and threw them in the washing basket in the corner of the room and turned back to House, whose head was downcast as his hand lightly rubbed his thigh.

Looking at him, Cuddy had never seen him so broken. Wearing only his boxers and in stark contrast to the white porcelain, the bruising on his leg looked monstrous. The deep blue and purple welts which still covered the limb weren't even beginning to turn the yellow-green colour of an older bruise, and compared to the left there was still a considerable amount of swelling. His original scar stood boldly out amongst the damaged, swollen tissue with no blood vessels to cause bruising; only emphasising the injury which lead them to the place they now found themselves in.

Slowly walking over to him, Cuddy couldn't take any more of it and knelt down in front of the toilet, taking his face in her hands. His pained eyes met her tear-filled eyes as she slowly moved her thumbs over his heavily-stubbled cheeks.

'I love you so much, Greg, and I am so, so, sorry that I caused this to happen,' the tears spilled for the second time that evening, and Cuddy slowly moved her left hand down to join his right on his thigh. She looked down at the damage and gently traced the scar with her fingertips, letting House know that she wasn't only apologising for his beating, but also the infarction. The guilt which House had been aware of only a few hours prior had been eating her alive, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. The flood gates had been opened, and boy did she sob.

'Shhh, Cuddy, this isn't your fault.' When he failed to get any response other than more tears he took the hand that was on his leg and held it tight. 'Lisa, listen to me,' now this got her attention. While Cuddy had been known to use his given name on occasion, he never used hers. It were as if it made him vulnerable to use her first name, a name no one used other than her family, and maybe he felt like he didn't have the right to use it, but at this moment the only thing he was concerned about was getting her to stop crying before she made herself sick. She grasped his hand with all her might and tried to control her ragged breaths. 'Absolutely none of this is your fault, you hear me? Without you, I would probably be dead right now-'

'Don't say that!' She cut him off, apparently angry.

'It's true!' He retaliated. 'Without you, it is most probable that I would never have survived the infarction due to my stubbornness. Without you giving me a job, I wouldn't have put it past me to kill myself when Stacy left me. Without you, I would have ended up in prison for selling drugs and got myself kicked to death. Without you, I would have had nothing to live for during my time in Mayfield and without _you_, Cuddy, I wouldn't be the happiest I have ever been in my life right now, pain and all. Without you I wouldn't have Rachel in my life, and I wouldn't have the only the proper family I have ever known so you can stop punishing yourself. Please, because I can't take it knowing my stupid mistakes make you feel so awful. I love you so much, Lisa, you hear me? And to me, you will always be absolutely perfect.' He rested his head on her forehead and brought her hands to his lips, tenderly kissing them. 'Y'know you're pretty lucky really, because you could even stab me and I'd still take you back,' he whispered in an attempt to lighten the heavy mood.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed in his scent. 'I am very, very lucky in deed.'

**[H]**

Once Cuddy had washed her face she helped House back to the bedroom, and they lay back on their respective sides of the bed. 'Are you comfortable?' Cuddy asked before she turned off the bedside lamp.

House nodded, but added 'I'll be more comfortable when you come over here,' he gestured by moving his left arm and exposing his chest as an invitation. She turned off the light and then wriggled over, laying down her head and using his strong chest as a pillow. His arm enveloped around her small frame and he lovingly kissed the top of her head through her curls. He quickly heard her breaths deepen and slow down, signalling that she had fallen asleep. She was exhausted by the day's events and as soon as she was comfy she was gone. He kept his face buried in her luscious locks and held her so tightly. He still couldn't believe that he had lucked out and that she had fallen for him, and he was terrified that one day she would wake up and see the error of his ways. He decided that he would have to make the most of every day he had with her and Rachel until that day came, to maximise the happiness he had in his life. This was what was on his mind as he too fell into a deep slumber.

Little did he know, that Cuddy needed him just as much as he needed her, a fact he simply couldn't accept.

**[H]**

**Hope it wasn't too OOC for you! Thought it was important to show just how high emotions would be running during a time like this and that some heart-felt emotion wouldn't go amiss.**

**Hope you liked it, the wait was a bit shorter than the last one you endured! So thank you to everyone who is still reading. **


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